


unwilling (to admit i love you)

by angelic_violets



Category: Hamilton (2020), Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Extramarital Affairs, F/M, Forbidden Love, Hamgelica, My First Work in This Fandom, Temporarily Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:07:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26795596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelic_violets/pseuds/angelic_violets
Summary: Angelica knew why Eliza had written to her. Alexander was in desperate need of a break from all the work he'd been doing. Yet he refused. Angelica is determined to try again, one last time, but things don't go as planned.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Angelica Schuyler
Comments: 3
Kudos: 27





	unwilling (to admit i love you)

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is dedicated to everyone in the hamgelica squad group chat on twitter! i know y'all have been waiting a while for this one, so i hope it lives up to your expectations :)

It had been agonizing for Angelica to bide time until they could be alone.

The entire day she and Alexander had shared glances across the room, pointed looks here and there whenever Eliza would engage them both in conversation. But mostly it was Angelica’s thoughts taking her elsewhere, wondering what exactly she would say to him face to face. The letters they’d shared over the last few months helped, but in the end did very little to quell the ache in her soul of having to be separated for so long.

And then of course, there was Alexander’s letter from two—no, three?—weeks ago that stirred something so deep in Angelica’s soul that it terrified her. That damn comma in the middle of his phrase. It replayed over and over in her mind until it became an extension of her being: _My dearest, Angelica…_

They were more than words. They were a flitter of hope, a spark of flame. Something that Angelica could fool herself into believing meant something more than just a possible error.

A gentle tug on her elbow pulled Angelica from her reverie, turning her gaze away from the parlor room window and into the curious face of her nephew, Phillip. “Daddy asked me to come get you, aunt Angelica. He wants to talk to you, he’s in his office.”

Angelica’s heart nearly leapt out of her chest. She thanked Phillip with a sweet smile and a forehead kiss before leaving the parlor and walking down the hall towards Alexander’s office. Briefly, she wondered where in the house Eliza was—and then immediately abolished the thought, guilt creeping into her conscience. She had no right to act like a giddy schoolgirl over something as simple as Alexander wanting to talk. Besides, the whole reason she’d even come to visit was because Eliza had wanted to get away upstate and spend time with their father. Eliza hadn’t been able to convince Alexander to come along, and she’d invited Angelica to come in hopes that her presence would change his mind. **_He values your input so much, love—he’s so tired and overworked all the time._ **The contents of the letter floated through Angelica’s mind as she gave the office door two soft knocks. **_Perhaps you can reason with him. If no one else, he’ll listen to you._**

Just as she prepared to knock again, Alexander’s melodious voice broke through the silence. “Angelica, come in.”

She didn’t know why it excited her that he automatically knew it was her on the other side of the door. Angelica turned the knob and stepped inside the office, gently shutting the door behind her. Her eyes flitted around the familiar room; not much had changed in the way of decoration since she'd last visited, but it still felt undeniably in alliance with Alexander’s personality.

The man who’d laid claim to her heart sat behind his desk scribbling away on a sheet of paper, not that Angelica had been expecting to see anything else. The lightest of smiles tugged at her lips, and she gently cleared her throat to get his attention. “Phillip said you wanted to see me?”

“You’d be correct.” Alexander looked up at her, a barely there chuckle escaping his lips as he set the pen down. Those eyes. They always had a story to tell, a person to convince, an argument to win. Angelica knew if she allowed herself the indulgence, she’d get lost in them and things would spiral out of control. “You can have a seat if you’d like.”

Angelica’s dress swished against the floor as she made the move to go towards the nearest chair, then hesitated. It’s not that she didn’t want to sit, but…there was something inside of her that also desperately wanted in that moment to be held by him, even if for a moment. She hated herself for even letting it cross her mind.

His eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I’m fine.” Angelica responded almost too quickly, forcing a smile that would convince almost no one, especially not him.

Alexander rose from the desk, walking around to the spot where she stood. Their bodies were suddenly close, almost as close as the night of the winter ball that felt like centuries ago. They stood there, holding each other’s gazes intensely, the only sound in the room being that of their breathing. Then, without warning, the tips of Alexander’s fingers touched her right side, the warmth from his skin easily slipping through the fabric of her dress and sending a shiver through her whole body.

Despite herself, Angelica gasped. The air between them was heavy as Alexander said in a low voice, “Is this what you wanted?”

She nodded almost imperceptibly, closing her eyes. Under his touch, she felt herself relax, the tension easing from her shoulders. And then his other hand touched her left side, drawing them closer, and in one swift motion their lips met in a sweet symphony of unspoken words.

He kissed her desperately, as though if he stopped, he would lose her forever. Maybe he would.

In that moment, despite everything screaming at her to stop, Angelica gave in. A hand came to rest on the lapel of his jacket, the other near the nape of his neck. Nothing in her wildest imaginations could have prepared her for the whirlwind of emotions that blazed through her soul in that moment. It was everything, and somehow not enough at the same time.

It hadn’t even begun to register in her mind that this was their first kiss, because the passion building between them made it seem like it was their last.

Maybe it was.

Because even though Alexander nor Angelica had heard it, the door to Alexander’s office slowly began to open.

The sound of glass shattering ripped them away from each other’s embrace, a sound that was in tune with the proverbial shattering of three hearts—

First Angelica's, then Alexander's, and finally, Eliza’s.

**Author's Note:**

> i hated ending it on a cliffhanger, but uh what did y'all think? should i continue? lmk!!


End file.
